Soldier

Favorite Lines from the Audience:

"The wife is now available!"

"Pull my finger"

Favorite Lines from the Movie:

"You need any help, partner?"

"I'm going to kill them all, sir."

Reviews

Batman

This movie was so bad that I don't know where to start. I would like to congratulate Kurt Russell and his agent for getting $16M for less than a dozen lines in the movie, very shrewd negotiating. I think the best way to describe this movie is cliched. There wasn't a hint of originality to be found anywhere. The final battle was full of images ripped from other (frequently better) movies. I always had the feeling that I had seen this before. The whole section about nursing Todd back to health was pretty weak. Here we have this trained emotionless killer who gets a peek down a woman's dress and suddenly he has a heart? Give me a break. What we needed right then was a little inset picture of his heart transforming from a black lump to a healthy heart like How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The best parts of this movie involved the kid. When Todd tries to teach him how to kill snakes and when Todd picks him up at the end of the movie are really the only good scenes in the whole film.

Lanceley

This movie was Brave New World meets Thunderdome meets Full Metal Jacket. While it was most definitely not good, I can't say that it was offensively bad either. It was a good movie to turn off to. And you don't have to worry about pesky dialogue either. I heard on the radio that Kurt Russell speaks a total of 69 words in the whole film (I think that that's a generous estimate. I wouldn't be surprised if it is half of that.) and was paid $16M. You do the math. I'm sure Goldie and the kids are tickled with Daddy's new movie.

Mad Matt

In keeping with the spirit of the movie, I will keep this short sir. Shit! I just said more than Kurt Russell did during the whole movie. I have to say that despite the lack of things to really comment on, I really didn't mind this movie. It had a lot of big explosions and lots of mindless violence to keep you tuned in. I have to admit that my favorite scene was watching the unarmed female leader of the colony being blown away by a missile fired by an armored super soldier genetically engineered to fight. Excessive, maybe. Effective, definitely. Don't expect too much and you should enjoy this movie.

In the sequel to this movie, Sgt. Todd who let the husband get killed so he could finally make his move on the hot young wife, the wife who seemed relieved that she could move beyond teasing hunk boy now that her husband was out of the picture, and the mute son who forgot about his father in about a second and half try to hammer out a new life on the Trinity Moons. Watch the action heat up and the wacky antics ensue when the father-son picnic gets a little out of hand after Sgt. Todd and Nathan (mute boy) get a little tired of the taunting from the other fathers and sons.

The Full Mason
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BGA
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