| Written by John Shea,
on 17-01-2001 08:00
|
Published in : Reviews, Movies |
Ah, January, that wonderful month when studio executives' thoughts turn to dumping the crap they're afraid to show the rest of the year. Don't believe me? Then consider that the average rating we've handed out for movies released this January is approximately 2.2 stars out of 5. We're not exactly talking Oscar hopeful films here.
 The Wedding Planner fits right in with that group. It's a hackneyed attempt at a romantic comedy that fizzles as much for poor casting as it does for weak characters. Jennifer Lopez plays a professional wedding planner, Mary. On the way to work one morning her shoe gets stuck in a manhole cover and coincidentally a dumpster starts rolling her toward her. When is the government going to start doing something about these runaway dumpsters? It's a threat to our very society and quality footwear. Anyway, Matthew McConaughey, aka Doctor Steve, leaps in to save her shoe from this menace, flattening Mary in the process. This leads to a charming date as they go to the park to watch an old movie and dance.
Trouble hits though when Mary meets the fiancé of her newest and richest client ,Fran (Bridgette Wilson), who turns out to be none other than Doctor Steve. Okay, who didn't see that coming? (insert cricket sounds here) That's what I thought. They argue over this in the midst of a dance class but Fran is too preoccupied with her cell phone to notice. That renders her nicely oblivious to the obvious familiarity between the two so that she can constantly arrange to have them spend entirely too much time together. By the way, if Mary wasn't planning to partake in this dance class then why did she wear one of those red dresses with high slits meant to look spectacular when dancing the tango? Just curious.
The biggest problem here is that there is no real chemistry between Lopez and McConaughey. They go through the motions but never really seem to connect. It becomes very difficult to see these two as a romantic couple. Without the chemistry the movie just plods through endless cliches. There is very little original or for that matter interesting happening on screen. We've seen it all before and usually with more believable pairings.
It's even a bit difficult to be engaged (no pun intended) by the characters. Mary is a fussy, cold, control freak. She's cheery on the surface but watching her for long enough indicates this woman is interested in little else than her commission. She has a patented speech to keep nervous brides from backing out and bets, with creepy accuracy, on how long marriages will last. Doctor Steve on the other hand seems to have wandered in from a different movie, one that doesn't have romance, comedy or energy on it's mind.
Don't even get me started on the sub-plot involving Mary's father's attempts to set her up with a nice Italian boy, Massimo, she knew as a kid. Massimo and her father combine for two of the worst accents ever inflicted on movie audiences. They sound more like speech impediments than accents. The family seems all wrong for her and so does this attempt to find her love in a different spot.
It's supposed to be a romantic comedy but the laughs are few and far between. Fran's loony parents, played by Joanna Gleason and Charles Kimbrough, are good for some chuckles as is Fred Willard as a eccentric dance instructor. The movie's biggest attempt at laughs involves crazy glue, the stone genitals off a statue and one of the lead's hands. I won't elaborate because I'm still trying to blot the memory from my mind. Actually that pretty much applies to the whole movie.
This movie suffers from poor casting and even worse writing. The script is illogical and assumes the audience has an IQ roughly on par with the typical cabbage. The ending of this movie is so badly conceived and carried out that you have to wonder how it managed to get on screen. It takes an already limping story and finishes it off. If only it had been a quick merciful death rather than one that dragged on.
- John Shea
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