Episode #4-06, "Transference"
Written by Todd Slavkin & Darren Swimmer
Directed by James Marshall
Special Guest Star:
Margot Kidder (Bridgette Crosby), J. P. Manoux (Edgar Cole).
Air Date: October 27, 2004
Remember the three crystals, or artifacts, that have been mentioned frequently this season? Lionel found one of them in a Mayan statue that’s tied to some legend about body-swapping. Given the simmering homoeroticism I’m used to on Smallville, the words "body" and "swapping" have entirely different meanings. Lionel, living on borrowed time as it is, latches on to any feeble hope he can. So he plans to switch places with Lex. It’s too bad he doesn’t count on the crystal calling to Clark like the one Lex found in "Crusade".
Clark shows up and gets between Lex and his father, only to wind up surrendering his body to Lionel. That sentence is a lot dirtier than intended, but I digress. Tom Welling did an excellent job of mimicking John Glover’s rhythm and delivery. I was floored. It’s not the best acting I’ve ever seen, but it’s easily twenty times more than I expected from Tom Welling after this first fives episodes of Season Four. John Glover’s portrayal of Clark was nothing less than hilarious. He nailed every single flaw in Welling’s delivery and Clark’s personality. I laughed my head off with each line reading. Bravo.
Lionel soon discovers Clark’s powers one by one. The most disturbing of which was heat vision. While talking to his mother, Lionel begs off a hug from Martha and in mid-embrace his eyes ejaculate pure arousal and set something in the yard on fire. Knowing what we do about heat vision and its connection to sexual arousal, it’s a wonder this scene made it past the censors. It’s nothing short of incestuous. Again, bravo. With his newly discovered powers, all Lionel needs now is money. Which he tries to get from his Swiss Bank Account. Unfortunately, Lex cleaned that account out ages ago. When Lionel tries to coerce Lex into giving back the money, Lex realizes exactly what’s going on and barely manages to be saved by Martha and her convenient chunk of Kryptonite. Lionel, fearing his weakness, attacks Jonathan to find out what causes it. It fits in his character that he’d flee from the source of his weakness and study it rather than stick around and risk exposure again.
While in Prison, Clark discovers the down side of being someone’s bitch. He’s trapped in an aging, dying body and surrounded by lunatics and murderers hell bent on taking a piece out of him. Though he defends himself admirably and wins a fist fight with a two ton troglodyte, he still has to find a way to get his body back. His answer comes in the form of Lionel’s cellmate, Edgar Cole. Edgar was framed for embezzling school funds at the university where he worked as a cryptographer. Clark realizes quickly that Lionel must have set Edgar up in the hopes that he was the one man alive who could translate the cave walls. His gamble paid off. Edgar was able to decipher several glyphs, including the one on Lana’s back. It’s the symbol for Water, or Transformation. The symbol for Crusade also represents Fire, and Clark’s 8-Shield symbol represents Air. The three combined lead to that "treasury of knowledge" everyone’s got a hard on for. Clark convinces Edgar to help him lure Lionel back to the prison, and the ploy works.
Edgar calls Lionel and gets him to the prison under the auspices of warning him. The warning is that the transfer will eventually wear off and that the only way to make it permanent is to murder Lionel’s body. Lionel readily agrees. A prison riot conceals Lionel’s entry, but his attempt fails when Clark slaps him with the Water crystal. Something else happens that was unexpected. I’m not sure what to make of it, and it kinda irritated me, but I'll reserve judgement until later. They might be going somewhere with it. Lionel’s jaundiced and lesion-covered skin is restored to normal and his liver is now disease free. Was it the crystal? Was it a side-effect of the transfer? Where are we going? Lionel claims to be a changed man now. That he’s not the same. Could be crap, but I’m interested nonetheless.
There was also some stuff involving Lana and Chloe, but I think you can guess where that went. In the end, Clark is on bad terms with both of them and Lex is the only one who knows that Lionel was in Clark’s body. Clark lies to Lex AGAIN and for no apparent reason. Lex could find out by other means, so you might as well be straight with the guy, Clark. Too bad you’re a douchebag, huh? I give "Transfer":
9 out of 10
Steven Dougherty sat still for over an hour trying to remember what it’s like to write without the sweet, sweet fuel of hatred. Eventually he had a drink and remember that alcohol is also good.
