So I have these two DVDs right? These two versions of the same movie that, with three for four edits, somehow become completely different flicks. One enjoyable the other...not so much.
Most people I know haven't even seen Batman Beyond, which is weird to me, because I mostly know comic book geeks and this is a film based on a highly acclaimed animated comic book television series. It's about what would happen if, say thirty years down the road, Batman called it quits. This isn't exactly knew territory for the character. Frank Miller got there back in the 80's, but this isn't really anything like Miller's dark magnum opus.
To start off, this future isn't dystopic. Things are pretty much like they are now. There are decent, hard-working saps like you and me walking around trying to keep the the random lunacy of daily life from getting them down and/or killing them. The difference? Flying cars. Yeah. Flying cars are everywhere and people still use the roads. It makes sense to me when I'm watching it, because fortunately for everyone I don't think to much when things are animated. Bruce Wayne, AKA Batman (sorry if I spoiled that for you, but if I did, fuck you and read a damned comic every now and again) is pushing seventy or something and he's got a heart condition. He gave up being Batman years ago and started things back up again when a young punk named Terry stole one of his tricked-out costumes to take down the man that killed his father. Terry becomes the new Batman, but in reality, is more like Robin than anything else. You have the grim, all-knowing detective with is wise-cracking, young sidekick. Though Terry is the main character, he's still not considered Batman.
This is the film that tries to change all of that. Fans of the cartoon series had been asking loads of questions from the first episode of the series. What happened to Robin? Is he dead? What about the Joker? Where's he? On and on and on with the questions. The series never bothered to actually answer them, and when the producers of the show were approached by Warner Bros. to make a film for their Direct-to-Home market, they jumped all over it. They made the film that answers all of those questions.
Here's where things get murky. There are two versions of this film. The original, uncut film and the edited butcher job that wound up on everyone's shelves. Fan reaction was strong enough to warrant the release of the uncut version, but for a while there it looked like fans were never going to see exactly how the show's producers wanted things to play out. The changes are minor. A few bits of dialogue and one cause of death, but these changes completely alter the film in ways I can't quite describe. I'm not going into plot, because I really think you should spend $10 at Best Buy or Wal*Mart and buy this film for yourself if you're interested. If you can only get one of them, buy the Uncut version. I hate sounding like some pissy fanboy about this, because most of the time I don't care about this stuff, but having seen both, the cut version just isn't as good. Uncut is more powerful, with better interaction, and some truly horrifying scenes. I understand the need for the changes since this is allegedly a children's show. In fact, there are certain rules regarding cartoons that the Batman, Superman, and Beyond series would never break if they wanted to stay on the air. For example, you can't show strangulation. There's a bit of that in the uncut version and I can't remember off the top of my head if it was in the cut. It's as though the producers finally got the chance to free themselves from years of self-restraint and they just went balls out.
Yeah, it's a cartoon. I know. You'll never get that girl in Accounting to give you a hummer if she knows you watch cartoons. Guy, listen, if you don't buy this? I won't care. If you do? I still won't care. I'm just telling you it was good and I think you should watch it, and if you're suffering from humiliating anxiety from being a thirty year-old cartoon fan, then you should play a little game to help relieve the tension. It's called, "How Much Drano Can I Drink?" It's fun. You buy a couple gallons of the stuff, or Liquid Plumber if you prefer, and you just start knocking back shots. After a while, believe you me, the fact that you like cartoons won't be a problem.
Enjoy.
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it likes cartoons and manages to get laid. He knows that sooner or later the Universe is going to want to cash that blank check they wrote his ass, but he's going to enjoy himself nonetheless.
